Children Are Important, But…
I am the person that good Christian parents would hate their sons to marry. I’m atheist, socially liberal, and politically definitely left of centre. Some of this can be outweighed by other details, I’m generally polite, well-spoken and can make intelligent conversation if needed. The biggest problem is children. I’m not a big fan.
I’m in my late twenties, and for the last 10-15 years have been saying that I don’t really want children. Most people seem to think that I’ll change my mind, and I accept that this is perfectly possible. I’m not opposed to children; well-behaved ones that I can give back after a few hours can be pretty good fun. I’ve also got enough of an ego to think that I could make a satisfactory parent if required. But I’ve got absolutely no desire to have children, I’m missing the gene for really wanting them.
I don’t think that it’s ok to just have children for no good reason. I realise that people end up in positions with few great options all the time, but it’s much better to think and decide to have or not have kids, than to have them without thought. People who come from a religious background who then realise that they are atheist usually put a lot of effort into coming to that realisation, yet because it’s not what everyone else wants to hear, they are often criticised. Similarly, people who choose to be child-free usually put a lot of effort and time into their decision, but because it’s not as socially acceptable a choice they are derided as selfish and uncaring.
For me, children are important. They represent the future and the continuation of us. If we want our values to survive beyond our generation, we need to instill them in our children. But, I do not feel that I personally have to breed in order to pass on my values to the generations below - which is why I don’t feel that I will be unfulfilled without genetic offspring. I must be a random mutation because my genes are not as important as my memes.
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Bearing and rearing children requires intense commitment. If it’s not your thing, it’s better for you and your potential children that you realize it now rather than later.