Atheists and Religious Tribalism
It’s funny, but even though I’m not a believer, I still retain a degree of affection for my former faith. I’m not alone in this, Irish comedian Dara O’Briain shares my feelings. From a recent stand-up tour:
I’m not a religious man. I don’t even believe in God. But still Catholic.
Maybe I’m wrong to do this. Well, actually I don’t think that there’s a maybe in there. But I genuinely hold no dislike for it. I enjoyed my upbringing, which was only moderately religious, and the local religious community that we worshipped with.
I didn’t de-convert as much as I simply realised that I didn’t believe and probably never really had. Like many people, I didn’t have a bad experience realising that Father Christmas (probably) wasn’t real, and it felt exactly the same to realise that God (probably) doesn’t exist.
My feelings are a little like the converse of the famous quote from The Godfather, except that it’s “if you mess with my family, you mess with me”, and my family are my ex-co-religionists.
But, religious tribalism is one of the really, really bad things about religion. Arbitrarily splitting people into Us and Them is not good for society, and I think, deeply unhealthy. So I should probably get over it.
I wonder if, with the space of time, my religious tribalism will decrease. Since only the older generations of my family are now religious, perhaps once they die I will no longer feel a sense of belonging. That would be a little sad, I do like belonging, and I do like them. But it would probably be better not to think tribally.
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Children Are Important, But…
I am the person that good Christian parents would hate their sons to marry. I’m atheist, socially liberal, and politically definitely left of centre. Some of this can be outweighed by other details, I’m generally polite, well-spoken and can make intelligent conversation if needed. The biggest problem is children. I’m not a big fan.
I’m in my late twenties, and for the last 10-15 years have been saying that I don’t really want children. Most people seem to think that I’ll change my mind, and I accept that this is perfectly possible. I’m not opposed to children; well-behaved ones that I can give back after a few hours can be pretty good fun. I’ve also got enough of an ego to think that I could make a satisfactory parent if required. But I’ve got absolutely no desire to have children, I’m missing the gene for really wanting them.
I don’t think that it’s ok to just have children for no good reason. I realise that people end up in positions with few great options all the time, but it’s much better to think and decide to have or not have kids, than to have them without thought. People who come from a religious background who then realise that they are atheist usually put a lot of effort into coming to that realisation, yet because it’s not what everyone else wants to hear, they are often criticised. Similarly, people who choose to be child-free usually put a lot of effort and time into their decision, but because it’s not as socially acceptable a choice they are derided as selfish and uncaring.
For me, children are important. They represent the future and the continuation of us. If we want our values to survive beyond our generation, we need to instill them in our children. But, I do not feel that I personally have to breed in order to pass on my values to the generations below - which is why I don’t feel that I will be unfulfilled without genetic offspring. I must be a random mutation because my genes are not as important as my memes.
Image in public domain
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A Little Light Reading: Carnival of the Godless Edition
So I submitted my first carnival post this week - you’ve probably guessed from the title of this post that it’s been included in the Carnival of the Godless. Sure I didn’t make editor’s choice, but I am near the top of the also rans section. That’s got to count for something?
Anyway, this week I have mostly been reading:
- What Good do Churches Do? @ An Apostate’s Chapel, what they do well, is community and fellowship, is there a need for a humanist/atheist equivalent? No belief required but coming together for fellowship and discussion.
- A Profile in Atheism @ Daylight Atheist - pointing out an article in Washington State’s Tri-Cities Herald about a pretty nice guy, who happens to be atheist. I’m sure I don’t need to tell you that most atheists (like most of everyone) are pretty nice people.
Enjoy the rest of your week people.
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